Kindnesses: Small and Deep

I have been the recipient of many kindnesses this week, both small and deep. Small because, in one sense, they didn’t require much on the part of the giver, other than their own innate sense of generosity and their immediate consciousness of my need. Deep, because of the effect on me of each kindness, reaching me deeply, probably far more than any of the givers could imagine.

The cause of this need was my decision to stop driving, described recently. My husband was the first person with whom I shared this news. Because he knew immediately that it would place a burden on him, he had the biggest reason to attempt to dissuade me, but he didn’t. He simply listened without trying to change my mind, comforted me, and assured me that he’d support me by driving me whenever feasible. He also acknowledged that it would be an immense change and that there would be some things I would no longer do, especially my activism work. Similarly with my son, he assured me that he was completely willing to visit me for lunch regularly, to replace us meeting somewhere near his job.

The next people with whom I shared my news was the Death Cafe, a monthly gathering of a dozen folks who meet for an open discussion of death, dying, grieving, and related topics. We are not close friends, but the meeting topics invite an unexpectedly quick openness. It happened that among this month’s suggested conversation topics was ‘change.’ I hadn’t planned to disclose my recent decision, but I did. The immediate responses affected me deeply, including: “I admire you” and “I’m impressed.”

The next group with whom I shared my news was a writers’ group, whose reactions were similar to the death group. In addition, some of them wept as well, letting me know they shared how deeply this was affecting me. The icing on the cake was when one shared something she had recently read, that started: “In case nobody has told you — I am proud of you for leaning into the unknown . . .” Thank you, Emily!

Next, I began to visit bicycle shops, in search of an electric bike. The second one I went to, https://www.beverlybikes.com, had someone who was an incredible example of kindness — he recommended another shop that specializes in electric bikes, https://www.western-cycle.com. There, I found knowledgeable staff and a well-stocked supply, that I could test on the rail trail, right next door.

I have been the recipient of many kindnesses this week, both small and deep. Small because, in one sense, they didn’t require much on the part of the giver, other than their own innate sense of generosity and their immediate consciousness of my need. Deep, because of the effect on me of each kindness, reaching me deeply, probably far more than any of the givers could imagine.

The cause of this need was my decision to stop driving, described recently. My husband was the first person with whom I shared this news. Because he knew immediately that it would place a burden on him, he had the biggest reason to attempt to dissuade me, but he didn’t. He simply listened without trying to change my mind, comforted me, and assured me that he’d support me by driving me whenever feasible. He also acknowledged that it would be an immense change and that there would be some things I would no longer do, especially my activism work. Similarly with my son, he assured me that he was completely willing to visit me for lunch regularly, to replace us meeting somewhere near his job.

The next people with whom I shared my news was the Death Cafe, a monthly gathering of a dozen folks who meet for an open discussion of death, dying, grieving, and related topics. We are not close friends, but the meeting topics invite an unexpectedly quick openness. It happened that among this month’s suggested conversation topics was ‘change.’ I hadn’t planned to disclose my recent decision, but I did. The immediate responses affected me deeply, including: “I admire you” and “I’m impressed.”

The next group with whom I shared my news was a writers’ group, whose reactions were similar to the death group. In addition, some of them wept as well, letting me know they shared how deeply this was affecting me. The icing on the cake was when one shared something she had recently read, that started: “In case nobody has told you — I am proud of you for leaning into the unknown . . .” Thank you, Emily!

Next, I began to visit bicycle shops, in search of an electric bike. The second one I went to, https://www.beverlybikes.com, had someone who was an incredible example of kindness — he recommended another shop that specializes in electric bikes, https://www.western-cycle.com. There, I found knowledgeable staff and a well-stocked supply, that I could test on the rail trail, right next door.

The next kindnesses were from three women with experience on electric bikes: Judith, Diane, and Andrea. They provided great information about particular brands that they or friends actually rode, giving me the confidence I needed to make this major purchase. After my new bike was home, my bike-riding neighbor, Mary, helped me with decisions about seat height and pedaling choices, all of it supportive and tremendously helpful.

Other kindnesses that I have just experienced have been offers of occasional rides from a few friends, including Sandra and Reverend Joe. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. ♥️

If I had thought about it, I might have expected sympathy as a response to my decision. To instead receive compassionate support and even admiration has touched me deeply. Thank you for all these small and deep kindnesses

The next kindnesses were from three women with experience on electric bikes: Judith, Diane, and Andrea. They provided great information about particular brands that they or friends actually rode, giving me the confidence I needed to make this major purchase.

After my new bike was home, my bike-riding neighbor, Mary, helped me with decisions about seat height and pedaling choices, all of it supportive and tremendously helpful.

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