Among the many things that have changed during my life is my inclination to host parties and family events. From the time that I was a young mom in my twenties, I relished everything about hosting family parties — the planning, the inviting, the decorating, the grocery shopping, the preparation, the serving, and finally, the gathering itself with the eating, the overeating. Actually, the final piece was, of course, the cleanup. I even enjoyed that, as I recalled the party, the interactions, and the mutual pleasures we all enjoyed. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter were the biggest gatherings and celebrations, but I also loved hosting dinner parties for six to eight people.
I remember one New Year’s Eve from my twenties when my husband and I entertained four other couples with a stretched out dinner with multiple courses, starring baked stuffed lobster, and ending with flaming baked Alaska. Ah, the pleasure in all of it! I also enjoyed impromptu gatherings when a couple of friends would stop over unexpectedly. I always had a few treats that I could put together, maybe an excellent cheese, gourmet crackers, good olives, and a chilled wine. Eating and talking with good friends, what a delight!
These are lovely memories and so different from my reality now. I have no awareness of how or why it changed, but my pleasure in hosting gatherings ended some time ago. I still love being included, when others are hosting, but the pleasure of planning and preparing for others is no longer mine. This is true, even if the guests are friends or relatives who I dearly love. My mind is empty of ideas for interesting foods, whether main courses or appetizers.
There’s not much else to say about it. However, let me describe an event at which I’m a willing guest, when others are taking pleasure in the planning, preparation, and serving. A few years ago, one of my cousins, Lucy, arranged a GIANT event for Thanksgiving, to be held in a nearby community hall.
Lucy contacted dozens of relatives, both local and out of state, to extend invitations to attend and contribute to the preparation. The foods — have I mentioned that my family is Italian — included multiple turkeys, homemade ravioli, and tomato sauce. After discussing with Lucy, it was determined that I would prepare butternut squash. I think I needed about a dozen and a half. The gathering lasted about six hours, with many courses, ending with sumptuous homemade desserts. There were probably about a hundred of us there, catching up with all the news. In between courses, we’d walk around, attempting to talk with as many people as possible.
After making all that squash and enjoying the full event for a few years, now we go for dessert and visiting during the last two hours. And, I love every minute and every bite!
So my pleasure in planning the food has diminished. My pleasure in being with others has not.
Carole's Words 