Not Writing

It’s my writing time, but I don’t feel like writing. So, what to do? I’m approaching the end of a book I’ve really enjoyed (The Marriage Portrait, by Maggie O’Farrell) and I’m also nearing completion of a thousand-piece puzzle that I’d love to finish. Reading or puzzling? No, I’m a stoic, so I WILL WRITE.

Interesting to me, that I feel compelled to write without being in the mood, even when other enjoyable tasks beckon to me. Retired, I treasure my open time, time not dedicated to a particular task. And, there’s so much of it! I ‘work’ three hours a week at BevCam, the local Beverly TV station, scanning old documents, so the paper documents can be discarded, either recycled or shredded, depending on their sensitivity. This ‘job’ is under the auspices of our Senior Center, which manages the program allowing seniors to work off $1000 of their property taxes during 75 hours of volunteer work at various activities. I enjoy my time there very much, reminded of the satisfaction I often felt during my work before retirement.

I have loose commitments to ‘attend’ on-line sessions, some Quaker-based, others educational or entertaining. One that I watched recently was an interview with Alexandra Cousteau. Remember her grandfather, Jacques Cousteau? She has followed in his path, learning to swim before she could walk, starting to dive with him when she was seven. She described the damage and devastation she’s seen within the oceans during her life, resulting from climate change, but ended her presentation on a positive note. Evidently seaweed is a collector of carbon dioxide, similar to trees in a forest. So, we can look to our oceans to help in our planet protection endeavors.

My writing on travel has taken un unexpected turn, because of an unplanned trip in my near future. After a friend called on me to join her on a three-week visit to Bali, where her friend has lived for five years, we made the reservations, choosing business class because of the lengthy flights (and our aging bodies!) Two weeks later, her friend’s son died unexpectedly, so her friend is now in the US, planning to be here for several months. So my friend decided to cancel her flight reservation, not wanting to postpone for another date. After briefly considering whether I should simply travel alone, I asked my husband whether he wanted to join me for three weeks in Bali in May. He said yes, I added another flight reservation, and now we are looking forward to three weeks in paradise!

Bali is about as far away from here as I can go, without leaving the planet.

I bought a new snorkel and face mask, anticipating the excellent snorkeling there, not wanting to rent a snorkel to put in my mouth. Before Covid, I would not have given it a second thought, but now, I can’t imagine using another person’s snorkel. The fins, fine, plus they’re too big to pack in my luggage.

The other activity I’m looking forward to is visiting Komodo Dragon National Park, on a neighboring island, Nusa Tenggara. Weighing as much as 300 pounds, these lizards are only found in this area of Indonesia, so seeing them will be a special opportunity.

Back to consideration of the various activities that fill my days now. There is often a dilemma between relaxing into a self-indulgent leisure activity that I love and choosing a task that must be accomplished, such as writing checks to pay bills or doing laundry. I’m still the task-oriented person that I’ve always been, only now there are fewer tasks that require my attention. I love retirement, yet still occasionally feel grumpy for no particular reason. Or – maybe my grumpiness is the result of the world and country-wide news items that sadden and anger me. In one sense, they don’t touch me as directly as the pleasures that are closer to my life, yet they require my attention and often, action. Because of this, they puncture the bubble of my everyday life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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